Name: The Absurdist $46 Burger (With Korean-Inspired Crunch)
Prep time: 35 min
Total time: 35 min
Yield: 4 servings
Ingredients: 1 1/2 lbs ground beef (80/20 blend); 4 brioche buns; 1/3 cup gochujang mayo (2 tbsp gochujang + 4 tbsp mayo + 1 tsp honey); 1 cup kimchi, drained and roughly chopped; 1 cup crispy fried onions (store-bought or homemade); 4 slices aged cheddar cheese; 2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened; 1 cup shredded lettuce; 1/4 cup thinly sliced scallions; 1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds; Kosher salt and black pepper, to taste; Vegetable oil, for frying

The Absurdist $46 Burger (With Korean-Inspired Crunch)

CookwithNewsletter

Inspired by the chaos and playfulness of the Las Culturistas Culture Awards, this burger brings together the high-low, the iconic, and the absurdly delicious. It’s a $46 burger not because of truffles, but because it’s loaded with a riot of textures—crispy fried onions, caramelized kimchi, melty cheese—plus a punchy gochujang mayo that tips its hat to the LCCAs’ love of Korean food. The crispy, buttery bun and a final flourish of scallions and sesame seeds guarantee every bite is worthy of its own award. This is a burger for anyone who believes food is as much about fun as flavor.

Ingredients

Instructions

Preheat a cast iron skillet or grill pan over medium-high heat. Shape ground beef into 4 loose patties, handling as little as possible. Season well with salt and black pepper.
Toast the brioche buns: Spread softened butter on cut sides of each bun. Place buttered side down on a skillet until golden and crisp, about 1-2 minutes. Set aside.
Mix gochujang, mayo, and honey in a small bowl. Set aside.
Cook the burgers: Add a thin layer of oil to the hot skillet. Add patties and cook 3-4 minutes per side for medium-rare (longer if desired), adding cheddar cheese during the last minute to melt.
For extra crunch, heat a little oil in a pan and briefly fry the chopped kimchi until lightly caramelized and crisp at the edges, about 2-3 minutes.
Assemble: Spread gochujang mayo on both bun halves. Layer lettuce, seared patty with melted cheddar, fried kimchi, crispy fried onions, and a sprinkle of scallions and sesame seeds. Top with the other bun half.
Serve immediately with extra napkins and a sense of humor.